Children can be headstrong, stubborn and even rebellious at times. Children in their adolescent years tend to display these traits and this gives many parents countless headaches.
These negative characteristics associated with teenage children lead parents to ask themselves this question, “How as parents are we able to motivate our teenage children to perform to the best of their abilities?”
Constantly nagging or repeating till breathless in front of your child would simply not work. Similarly, if you share with your children your experiences when you are of their age, they would also ignore your good intentions.
So what is the way to motivate your teenage children then?
Similarly, we are able to relate to these issues and have came up with 4 helpful tips which prove to be able to help you motivate your child.
But before we begin, we have to understand the reason to why your teenage children are not motivated to begin with. We believe that the underlying factor is their lack of ability to be able to see the benefits of their work.
Our tips will confront this factor and create an appropriate environment which allows your child to be able to remain motivated and eventually reap the benefit of their own hard work!
#1 Acknowledge and Show Appreciation
To every child, receiving acknowledgment of their work brings happiness and drives them.
A simple ‘good job’ or any form of appreciation received serves as a form of encouragement to motivate them in their work.
So, remember to praise your child when compliment is due. This helps them stay focus long enough to be able to reap the benefits from their hard work.
#2 Striking an Agreement
The days before an examination is the period where parents see a drop in productivity in their children.
We were once students too and have experienced the stress and reluctance of studying during our examination period many years ago. This is the exact same experience that our teenage children are going through. Very few things can serve as a motivation for them to study.
Hence, one of the best ways of motivating our adolescent children is to strike an agreement with them!
Before a deal can be made, we have to explain to them of their priorities.
For example, how studying now can allw them to spend as much time as they want with their friends after the examination period without any sense of regret or fear of scoring badly! In addition, set deals whereby you are able to present the promises made to your children.
Striking an agreement with them would not be productive if you cannot fulfil the promises made to them! In fact, it would even serve to be counter-productive as your child would remember such incidents and be less incline to trust you in the future.
#3 Stop Nagging
It is natural for your teenage children to be rebellious but such a trait is certainly unfavourable.
It is obvious that nagging amplifies your child’s wants so why do we continue to nag?
This is simply because nagging is subconsciously used as a medium to ‘get whatever we want to say off our chest’. Nagging brings us, parents comfort and self gratification as we are able to relieve ourselves from all the anger or stress build up within us.
However, it does no good to our children as they bear the brunt of our negative emotions without much benefits to them. When we nag, our teenage children just switch everything off and they do not absorb a single word we say. Furthermore, it encourages them to be rebellious since rebellion is seen as an outlet to release their own negative emotions that is contributed by our nagging.
Understand that nagging brings zero benefit to parents nor children. It is a vicious cycle as nagging will eventually bring pain to both parties and nothing productive emerges out of it.
#4 Support Your Child’s Dreams and Aspiration
As a parent, it is important to support your child’s ambition.
This is because through your support, your child is able to feel the love from you. This also allows your children to feel that they have captured both your attention and acknowledgement. Your encouragement serves as the most powerful source of motivation for your child to continuously work harder as they subconsciously want to make you proud of their own personal achievements.
If your children’s dreams do not sound feasible to you, do not discourage them and reject all of their ideas! Instead, sit down with them and speak to them. Reasoning with your children may be able to allow them to understand the possible failures of their ventures and together, you and your children can source for solutions and improvements. Such activities are also able to improve your relationship with your teenage children hence motivating them to work harder in order to make your proud of their work!
In short: Sit. Share. Evaluate. Bond.
It is difficult to motivate teenagers. Stubborn individuals who prefer to rebel rather than to listen to their parents can be a handful to control and often bring us many headaches! However, they just want us parents to acknowledge their hard work and receive our praise and respect for their every accomplishment.
Our support can serve as the most efficient tool in motivating our teenage children! So go ahead, sit down and listen to your children’s dreams and aspiration. Support them fully and be present in every step while they chase their goals. It may be a simple gesture from us but it is extremely meaningful to your child and this simple act alone is a strong source of motivation!
Nobody said being a parent to teenage children is easy. Our own parents must have experienced what we are currently experiencing when we ourselves are teenagers. Give your children the patience and guidance as well as compliments and encouragement. When they finally achieve their dreams, both you and your children will be equally as proud and joyous! This is the reward of parenting that many of us are constantly searching for; the success of your child.
Hope these tips prove to be useful for you parents and as usual,