What is bullying?
Bullying takes place when a person (the bully) uses their superior strength or influence to intimidate another person (the person being bullied), typically to force him/her to do something against his/her will.
Forms of bullying:
Bullying can be carried out in various forms. Some forms of bullying include:
#1: Physical bullying
This is defined as hurting someone’s body or damaging his/her belongings.
Shoving, hitting, stealing and destroying a person’s property are all examples of physical bullying.
Bullying often begins in a different form before eventually progressing to physical violence.
#2: Verbal bullying
This is done through the use of negative words to cause distress to someone.
Insulting others, calling others names, using homophobic or racist slurs on others and making fun of them are all forms of verbal bullying.
Verbal bullying is one of the most common form of bullying.
#3: Social bullying
This is done with the intention to erode somebody’s reputation or social standing.
Social bullying usually takes place between friends.
It can happen either by trying to exclude somebody to make him/ her feel left out or by gaining somebody’s trust and then breaking it.
Encouraging others to ignore a person or spreading a friend’s secret to others with the purpose of damaging his/her reputation are examples of social bullying.
#4: Psychological bullying
This involves the intentional use of words or actions which can hurt a person’s psychological well-being.
Examples include intimidation, manipulation and stalking to cause fear and distress.
#5: Cyber bullying
This happens through the use of any technological devices.
Cyber bullying includes utilising the email, instant messaging, social networking sites, text messages, and cell phones to intentionally harm a person verbally, socially or psychologically.
Since cyber bullying is a by-product of the recent advent of technology, many adults are unfamiliar with it. This makes it difficult for parents to be aware of what to watch out for or how to intervene.
Why is it important to recognise the signs of bullying?
Bullying isn’t just a disagreement or a single encounter of social rejection. It is usually more sustained and takes place over a prolonged period of time.
Cases of bullying are extremely common in primary and secondary schools where students are young, immature and insensitive. So be aware,
Bullying can happen to your child.
Repeated bullying can inflict severe emotional damage and can hurt a victim’s self-esteem and mental well-being. Hence, it is important to intervene when your child gets bullied.
However, it is difficult to find out if your child is getting bullied.
This is because your children will avoid complaining to you that they are getting bullied because of the fear of embarrassment, the fear that things will get worse if you intervene and the fear of not getting you to believe them.
Therefore, you as parents should learn to identify the warning symptoms of bullying!
Always remember that your child is getting bullied probably because his/her character is not strong enough to resist the bullies.
Your child is chosen as a target probably because he/she cannot hold his/her own.
So your help is needed.
Symptoms of bullying
Here are 16 changes in your children’s behaviour which might indicate that they are victims of bullying in school:
- Unexplained physical injuries like marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes
- Missing stationery, books, lunches, electronic devices or money
- Tension and tears after school
- Displaying a hatred towards going to school
- Fear of riding the school bus
- Fear of being left alone
- Wanting you to send them to school and pick them up after lessons
- Withdrawn and gives the impression that they are hiding something
- Mood swings
- Difficulty in sleeping, constant nightmares, cry themselves to sleep, bed wetting
- Loss in appetite
- Suddenly have fewer friends and refusal to be with the usual group
- Hungry when they get home despite claiming that they have already had their meals in school
- Damaged self-esteem
- Plunge in academic performance (Bullying affects a person’s self-esteem and have an adverse impact on grades)
- Talk about suicide
What do you do if you think your child is really getting bullied?
Even if you have identified the signs of bullying, your child will probably deny about getting bullied even if you question him/her.
Hence, you have to be tactical when you are trying to get your child to open up to you.
For example, if you realise that your child is always hungry when he/she comes home despite claiming that he/she has already taken their meals, ask your child why is he/she always hungry and have he/she really eaten in school.
Observe your child’s reactions and body language. In the above context, if your child is telling the truth, he/she will stand by his/her claim and tell you what he/she ate for lunch.
However, if your child decides to remain silent, he/she is obviously hiding something from you.
If you suspect bullying but your child refuses talk to you, talk to his/her teachers or classmates to gain more information.
Do take note to ask discreetly if you decide to consult your child’s classmate. Kids normally hate it when parents probe into sensitive matters like this.
Meanwhile, continue to monitor your child. Show him/her emotional support and that you will always be available whenever he/she needs help.
Read the next article for tips that your child can use to deal with bullies…
